I don’t know what more I can add to the post-election conversation but to reflect, digest, and figure it out. Or at least starting to figure it out.
But what is there to figure out?
In a nightmarish turn of events, a man(-child) with the temperament of a five-year-old was elected president of the United States of America.
A man who ran his campaign on fear, sexism, racism and bigotry, misogyny, abelism, homophobia, xenophobia, and dehumanizing and denigrating of basic human decency.
The haze is nearly cleared but the slightest fuzz remains, like the residue of sleep crud that just won’t clear from my eyes. The deepest part of my brain can’t seem to shake off the idea that this is not a nightmare.
Every morning for the last few days involved a quick reality check. Yes, election day happened and Trump is president-elect.
This is real life.
Where’s the anger?
I don’t remember feeling angry on election night. I yelled at the TV a few times, specifically during the nail-biting numbers dance of Wisconsin and Michigan but I mostly sat there. Sat there and watched the numbers come in.
At 1:30 a.m. my eyes were getting heavy. I was exhausted. I just returned from chaperoning an overnight college trip in Upstate New York and the entire day felt like a blur.
My exhaustion doesn’t explain why I wasn’t angry though.
These last few days after the election were more like being at a funeral. A week-long mourning session at the loss of some semblance of human dignity and decency.
I was angry when Trump won the Republican nomination for president. That anger continued throughout the campaign as I observed the way journalists and news outlets covered the campaign, Clinton, and him. I raged when I heard and read what he said about those who are not and do not look like him.
On election day I was too tired to feel angry any more.
When the results where announced in the wee-hours of Wednesday morning I was despondent. Still. Lifeless.
I went to bed in a haze. The day after election day should be a paid holiday, I thought.
The stillness and fog of the past few days slowly morphed into worry. Worry for my fellow human beings who would experience the brunt of a Trump presidency and Trumpism.
I am scared of the consequences of everything else beyond Trump: his appointments in government, the role of first lady, human rights, etcetera.
The ripple effects of Trump’s presidential win scares the shit out of me.
I’m nowhere near being finished processing this election, and I imagine that many others are in a similar situation.
I’ve been discussing some of my thoughts with coworkers and M. It seems I’m left with more questions than conclusions.
I’m still processing and hope to be able to share some of my thoughts with you, my readers. Some will be experiments. Some possibly incoherent. None will be perfect but I welcome everyone’s thoughts in an effort to facilitate discussion.
We must understand and learn from one another, to come together.
And I’ll leave it at that for now.
photo: Leonard Stoellger/StockSnap io